Reflections on Opening Weekend

The NFL Network is promoting a new documentary, entitled “America’s Game.” It is a ranking of the great Superbowl teams. I wonder how does the NFL dare to call football “America’s Game?” That’s a bit pretentious, don’t you think?

Then, I watch a football weekend that started on Thursday and went through Monday night. Of the sixteen NFL games that were broadcast between those days, fourteen of them were broadcast on major networks—all the major networks, in fact, except ABC (and ESPN, an ABC partner, got the two nonnetwork games).

What does this have to do with being married? Have you ever heard the saying, “A millions screaming Elvis fans can’t be wrong?” Well, I hate to break it to my wife, but there aren’t a million football fans: there are more like a billion. The people who talk on my TV told me that a billion people worldwide watched the World Cup. Many Americans actually watched this year. But, remember, the World Cup is a series of over sixty games.

How many people in America do you think watch the Superbowl? To keep it simple, all of them. Even if you don’t like football, you watch the Superbowl. A statistically insignificant number of Americans (most of them homosexual or of foreign origin) don’t watch the single biggest annual television event in America, probably in the world.

My wife doesn’t like football, and, hey, that’s cool. But, the simple response to that is that she’s wrong. Everyone (and I really mean that) watches football. I’m not saying she should be able to talk about how many yards Randy Moss had last night (not many, if you care) or talk intelligently about who is going to win the Superbowl (I really don’t know, but after last night, I’m thinking the Chargers look pretty good).

Women out there with sports fan husbands, you have to remember that football is a way of life. It’s religion. It has the power to reach the most people of anything ever. Relationships are a two-way street. If you expect me to go apple picking in October and enjoy it, you may try showing a little interest in a team that isn’t the Patriots (or whatever your home team is).

Girls, if you play along, you may get some romancing later. Who knows? And, if you wear that Dallas Cowgirls outfit, you’re guaranteed some loving, as long as you can spell “C-O-W-B-O-Y-S” with your body. Ladies, hit the costume shops tomorrow early. When this blog goes live, everyone will be looking for one, and you don’t want to be the only wife/girlfriend on the block with a Browns cheerleader outfit. (Are the Browns cheerleaders called the Brown Eyes?)

Chris

(P.S.: Randy Moss is pictured above, if you don’t know.)