Holy Poop Batman

I've been trying to write about this for a few days, but it has taken this long to get out from under the pile of poop I had to clean up. You see, we went out with some friends last week (which in and of itself is a rare occurence, wonder why? ) They are childless as of yet, so eating at 7:00 pm did not strike them funny in the least. It worked out ok, except for one fatal mistake. We promised Abigail that she could have some lemonade at the bar. Yes friends, we brought our 2.5 year old to a pub, it was also a restaurant so please don't turn us in to DSS.

As luck would have it, this particular watering hole did not HAVE any lemonade. Answer me this, they had apple juice but not lemonade. Which one of those would you think is a more common mixer for adult beverages? In an effort to keep the peace for the 50 other patrons who were looking at us like crazy people for bringing our 2.5 year old to a bar, we got the kid some apple juice. Ok ok, not only did she have ONE cup of apple juice, but she begged for a second. She has probably only had about 3 other cups of apple juice in her lifetime, so clearly you can see where this is going.

We made it to the car, and we were about 15 minutes from home when said child got excessively fussy, she wanted me to touch her, so I reach back from the front seat only to be greeted something particularly squishy oozing down her leg. I yelled at my husband, oh cr*p the baby sh$t EVERYWHERE. She promptly fell asleep. So much for quietly and gently carrying her in the house and placing her in the crib without disturbing her slumber. I got covered in poop as I carried her in the house and promptly woke her up to get cleaned up. The best is yet to come.

My ever so kind and helpful husband conveniently decided he should go get the carseat out of the car so we can disassemble the damn thing to get the cover off so we can clean it. The carseat rant is a rant for another day. He RAN out the door and left ME ALONE BY MYSELF to try to wade my way out of the mess. I'm sure he thought I wouldn't realize his crafty ways. But, I have. It does not COUNT as help when all you are really doing is bailing on the most challening and disgusting part of the problem, avoiding any more spreadance of poop.

Nice try honey. The next one is all yours! And I'll be sure to fill her up with apple juice before I go to work for the night!
Janice