The Cycle

Families share everything. Mother and daughter, father and son, it’s one big sloppy mess. Take me for instance… Currently, our little one has a penchant for Dora the Explorer. I’m not one to follow the exploits of a curious, little Hispanic girl and her ill-dressed monkey friend. And yet, I get valuable Spanish lessons from this little bilingual cartoon. “Soy Dora” means “I’m Dora.” How about that?

My wife doesn’t like football, but she watches it when it’s on, and she gets invaluable information about the game. She tried asking questions once, but I guess she didn’t like my answers, just like she didn’t like my explanation of the infield fly rule.

Anyway, there’s something else that three people living in a two-bedroom condo get to share…bacteria and viruses. Isn’t it grand? As I write this, I am sporadically coughing, my wife is blowing her nose so loud, I can’t hear the television, and, when the two-year-old sneezes, she looks and sounds like a party favor filled with tapioca pudding and a firecracker. I’ve actually stopped wiping her nose because, eventually, I won’t have to. It’ll get plugged up.

In her last post, my wife complained (sort of) that we never got to see each other. Well, we’re married. We don’t have sex, talk, or really look at each other much. It’s not the end of the world to be apart for a period of time. (Although, it does make me sad.) However, at this point in time, when we are together we can’t touch each other for fear of getting sick. Not that it matters, I suppose, because we’re sick anyway.

So, let’s add to the list of things that are great about being married. Both of us work and never see each other. We never agree on what to watch on television (or anything else really) when we are together. And, we get to share in each other’s filth and infestations. For those of you singletons, just bask in the glory of married life, and look forward to the decades of happiness that await you.

Well, I’m off to bed now where my sick wife will snore like a humpback whale, and I’ll cough so hard that I’ll shake the bed, nay the very ground, while, in the other room, my daughter produces enough mucus to patch all the holes in the Great Wall of China. If you hear us, we apologize in advance. Adios!

Chris