Here We Go Again

My wife has been ragging me for not writing on our blog. She’s been holding it up for weeks. But, as soon as I start writing again, I get crapped on. (The crap reference only seemed natural with all of the toilet humor that’s going around.)

On the one hand, I don’t want this blog to turn into “Crap on Chris.” (Although the title is catchy.) That’s not why we’re here. We’re here to educate the populace on real life marriage and how it works and doesn’t work. On the other hand, a husband being defecated on is pretty much what a real marriage is like. So, maybe I don’t have a choice in the matter.

That said, I feel it necessary to defend myself, which, again, is something that a real-life husband spends far too much time doing. Here’s what I have done this Christmas season to help my wife…

*Last night I went to the video store and rented six movies to watch. One of them was a new Dora the Explorer to entertain the baby. I think that’s good enough, but I’ll go on.

*I’ve played hours of NCAA Football and Madden just so I wouldn’t go into the kitchen and disturb my wife who was working hard.

*I’ve taken a nap four out of the last five days so I can be rested at nighttime when the baby is hardest to deal with.

*I have actively ignored my child so as not to encourage her to be facetious or act out.

*I have successfully explained the mechanics, benefits, and drawbacks of the naked bootleg to my wife. (It’s a football play, not a sex game.)

*I have not spent a single thing on Christmas gifts. Money is tight in our house. I don’t want to be the one to use it all up. My wife takes care of the Christmas shopping. She can buy herself something.

This is just the tip of the iceberg. I have done so much that, I think my wife, who sweats the small stuff some times, can’t see the big picture and how hard I work for this family.

Chris