What the World Needs Now…

...is me. That’s right, me! Well, alright, I’ll condescend and say that “me” means “us.” I know, “Let me not to the marriage of two minds admit impediment” (Shakespeare). I’ve come to realize that, any time I say “me,” I mean “us.” I know better.

What’s funny is that the same goes for Janice. When someone says, “Hey do you want to do something this weekend?” she says, “Sure WE do!” As though I want to do anything…ever. Yet, there I am, a few days later, sitting at my in-laws’ house, and all I can think about is playing video games or sleeping in my favorite chair with my favorite foot stool. (I know there’s a word that sounds like Ottoman, as in the Ottoman Empire, but I can’t spell it.)

This is a lesson I’ve learned about marriage. When you’re single, women want you because you’re dangerous. That’s why my wife married me. But, as soon as you’re married, women want to change you. And, in the early years of marriage, you want to please your mate, so you concede. You may even enjoy it. Then, the next thing you know, you’re strapped to the hood of the car like a dead deer while this so-called “mate” is taking you to look at curtains. (Is there anything worse than curtain shopping?)

I love my wife. Few would doubt that. And, because of that love, somehow I always find myself doing stuff I don’t want to do. I know for a fact that my wife can’t complain that I make her do stuff she doesn’t want to do. I don’t make her do anything! In fact, I encourage the idea of doing nothing.

So, let me hear from you. Ladies, what have you made your man do lately that you knew he didn’t want to? Gentlemen, what have you done for your woman that you just can’t stand? Feel free to share and post under a fake name. I’ll never tell.

Chris